The yr is 2045. All of the years after 2038 have been a blur as a result of, seven years prior, I used to be hit by a flying automotive, and now my frozen head is in a jar, and the visibility could be very poor by way of formaldehyde. One thing nobody talks about! “Hey, Charlie, how properly are you able to see in that tumbler jar your head is in?” That’s what you don’t hear! However guess what, it’s not nice! Don’t fret; I’m approach forward of Ted Williams in line to get one other physique, as a result of it’s alphabetical. Haha, eat a D, Ted! Taking a summer season trip this yr for the first time in forty years as my 100-something-year-old Cougar drives my head to see Juan Soto get inducted into the Baseball Corridor of Fame, which she retains saying in its entirety and I hold gurgling into the formaldehyde jar, “You may simply say, ‘Corridor of Fame.’ You don’t should say ‘Baseball Corridor of Fame,’ we all know the place we’re going.” On the journey, I start to recount all of Juan Soto’s achievements — his 600+ homers, his .295 profession common, his .415 profession OBP, which tied fellow inductee, Jordan Walker, who grew to become an enormous star the yr after I finished drafting him in each league. A head journey higher than any Dennis Hopper ever went on.
So, the Mets signing Juan Soto now means we will sit again and see if the Mets can curse among the best gamers in baseball. This actually will likely be a check. My cash’s on Horny Dr. Pepper, however I’m not counting the Mets out. There’s not less than a 20% likelihood the Mets flip Soto into Bobby Bonilla, half two. Name him Mo’nilla. Really, don’t, don’t put that on him. So, the facility and common are straightforward, and the counting stats gained’t endure greater than, say, his yr in San Diego when he had 97 runs and 109 RBIs. The one bugaboo in his sport? 12 steals is his high mark. So, 95/35/110/.290/12? Appears like Gunnar Henderson minus 10 steals. Have a look at these numbers: 9, 6, 12, 7. Juan Soto’s financial institution password? No, his steal totals over the past 4 years. Although, may that be his financial institution password too? I suppose, which is why I’m glad he didn’t defer any of his $765 million. ‘Member once we thought he can be a 600 million-dollar man? Haha, foolish us.
Sorry, you bought outbid
— Razzball (@razzball.bsky.social) December 8, 2024 at 7:21 PM
Really, what’s actually hilarious? The Million Greenback Man TV present. 1,000,000? What’s he a backup catcher for the Rays? For 2025, I’ll give Juan Soto projections of 93/37/111/.288/11 in 564 ABs. Anyway, right here’s what else I noticed this offseason for 2025 fantasy baseball:
PSYCHE! I’m rolling out my 2025 fantasy baseball rankings on the Patreon. Don’t look forward to the rankings to return out subsequent month. Anyway II, the roundup:
Willy Adames – The Giants McCovet A Willy, that was the title you missed out on when Juan Soto signed late Sunday. The lede you didn’t miss out on:
Mark Twain stated the coldest winter he ever spent was a San Francisco summer season, so I assume the alternative is true, due to this fact the Giants queued up this sizzling and humid November to pay their respects to their iconic shortstop, Brandon Crawford, who was retiring. Very similar to when followers lined as much as pay their respects on the casket of Elvis or Michael Jackson or Princess Di, they left memorabilia that reminded them of Brandon Crawford. A World Sequence program, a hat, a shirt, one leather-pantsed fan positioned what seemed to be a police nightstick nevertheless it was very floppy and it had Brandon’s face drawn on it. This fan referred to as this his Brandong. With the brilliant solar and beautiful summer-like November situations in San Fran, this Brandong sprouted within the earth, like a beanstalk, however as an alternative of rising into a bigger Brandong it grew right into a Willy, and so they referred to as it Willy Adames–[intern whispers in ear]–Oh, I see. Seems Willy Adames signed with the Giants for $167 million, as Posey, Buster’d his cherry as Giants’ President of Baseball Operations. Buster Posey simply shrugging and having the perspective, “It ain’t my cash,” all offseason can be fairly wonderful. Additionally it is not my cash, so extra energy to him. You understand that outdated saying, if you happen to don’t know who the sucker on the desk is, it’s you? Why do I get the sense that’s Buster Posey? Willy Adames simply got here off a profession yr and it’s onerous to not see that being a pinnacle vs. the start of many comparable years as he enters his age 29 season. His .297 BABIP doesn’t sound excessive, nevertheless it seems it was for him. I had a premonition about his BABIP, so I dug in a little bit and he had the 61st highest fly ball price since 2000 (49.8%) and solely two of these 61 had a .300+ BABIP. Brandon Moss at .301 in 2013 and Jonny Gomes in 2010 (there’s a throwback title). Gomes hit .266 that yr and Moss hit .256. They don’t seem to be all the identical gamers, however they’re not utterly dissimilar both. You can not have a 50% fly ball price and a very good common. Adames hit .251 final yr, that was good for him! Spending time on the common, as a result of the remaining appears pretty repeatable. He would’ve hit 31 homers in San Fran final yr; he hit 32. He stole 21 luggage, and the Giants, apart from Matt Chapman don’t run, although he may. On additional inspection, perhaps they did simply develop a barely greater Brandong. For 2025, I’ll give Willy Adames projections of 81/27/92/.238/12 in 581 ABs.
Blake Snell – Signed with the Dodgers. His deal is for one greenback this yr, two {dollars} subsequent yr, three {dollars} the next yr, then $149,999,994 the day after he passes away. Everybody wins. Boras will get to say he made a terrific deal; Dodgers get a terrific starter, and Snell’s subsequent of kin get an opportunity to plot a homicide, and turn out to be a star of a future true crime podcast voiced by Keith Morrison. Chills. Blake Snell now has solely the DBags left for the NL West groups he’s performed for. Actually, with that sizzling tub, I might’ve went there first. Perhaps he nonetheless can go there first if that sizzling tub is a time machine. Ideas, I acquired ’em. So, Blake Snell is probably the most unstable starter from begin to begin, month to month, yr to yr. He has had extra reliability the final three years with a Cy sandwiched within the center. Final yr he went 12.55 Okay/9, 3.8 BB/9, 3.12 ERA in 104 IP, and that is gonna sound odd perhaps, as a result of I’ve by no means favored him, however that is good for fantasy and actual baseball. Dodgers will likely be in a six-man rotation (after they have six wholesome arms) and nobody will get 200 IP anymore. If you may get 120 IP of Cy stats, that’s mainly Paul Skenes final yr. Since Snell solely had 5 wins, he solely ranked 197th general on the Participant Rater and barely inside the high 60 starters. If he solely gained 11 video games, he would’ve zoomed up about 20 spots. However, a high 40 starter plus what you’re filling in off waivers for his lacking 80 IP? I can get behind Snell, extra so than I’ve in previous years. Will I be in on his ADP? Nicely, gonna should Snell ya afterward that. For 2025, I’ll give Blake Snell projections of 11-5/3.34/1.11/166 in 124 IP
Michael Conforto – Signed with the Dodgers. Welp, they’re not all good signings. I child, I child. Take it straightforward — oh, c’mon, Dude, no extra Eagles! So, Conforto hits 20-ish homers and nothing else. He’s going to suit proper in with the Dodgers as a result of Conforto additionally likes to get one shoulder surgical procedure a yr. 2025 Projections: 51/21/58/.231 in 405 ABs
Gavin Stone – Will miss subsequent yr after present process shoulder surgical procedure. Gonna begin calling shoulder surgical procedure “Dodgers’ pitcher surgical procedure.”
Shohei Ohtani – Underwent shoulder surgical procedure on November fifth, which was the one massive information from November fifth. He suffered a labrum tear when the Dodgers stated he dislocated his shoulder and so they lied like a bunch of liars. Depart it to these Commies in Commiefornia to lie! Dodgers stated Ohtani will likely be prepared for Opening Day, which I imagine though they simply lied to me.
Matthew Boyd – Signed with the Cubs. Sure, I’m additionally intrigued. To not be intrigued, it’s important to be null and void of feelings. A spider caught in its personal net that simply shrugs and withers away. Final yr, he went 10.4 Okay/9, 3 BB/9 and a 2.72 ERA, and Wrigley’s been enjoying very pitcher heavy of late. It seems like a no brainer and it’s not not a no brainer, triple negatives apart, however he’s thrown 124 IP whole going again three seasons. You common 40-ish IP a yr, and I can solely get so excited. To not point out, his most innings thrown was in 2023 when he had a 5.45 ERA. There’s glimmers right here, however he’s a flyer. 2025 Projections: 6-5/3.83/1.24/98 in 95 IP
Colton Cowser – Fractured his hand within the playoffs, however he must be high quality for Spring Coaching. Give the boy a hand. Actually.
Tyler O’Neill – Signed with the Orioles. The O’s spend seven years build up a farm system they by no means give a chance. Heston Kjerstad, get able to study Miami, buddy, since you’re gonna be traded for a pitcher in July. Too unhealthy, Heston Kjerstad was my favourite participant who seemed like an Ikea sofa. Although, I assume O’Neill may get damage in March and Kjerstad is bjerstack! So, unsure if you happen to’ve heard however two groups grew to become jealous of the A’s discovering a brand new stadium and the Rays and O’s are additionally enjoying in new-ish parks. Rays are headed to Massive Stein Stadium, the place the PA announcer sounds loads like Larry David; A’s are headed to a minor league park, SacPark, and O’s simply introduced of their fences to pre-moving-their-fences-out distance. Rays’ lefties get a lift, however Rays’ lefties get benched by Money half the time; A’s hitters will get a lift in BABIP with much less foul territory, and the O’s righties are again, child, based on BBC’s quantity detective, Mountcastle. O’Neill may possible hit it out of any stadium, however the brand new fences gained’t damage and you realize I like him, so long as he’s really enjoying, which he does about 120 occasions a yr. 2025 Projections: 77/33/83/.236/6 in 464 ABs
Gary Sanchez – Signed with the O’s. That strikes Adley Rutschman to the bench–Kidding! Take it straightforward. Gary will transfer Cowser to the bench as he learns proper discipline. I’m joking! I hope I’m.
Jorge Soler – Traded to the Angels. Jorge Soler can’t play outfield and the Angels must play Mike Trout at DH, so, yeah, the Angels wasted no time turning into a laughingstock for the brand new 2025 season. [takes a long sniff] “You scent that? It’s an Angels’ horrible transfer!” A Good Strikes hand reaches out to shake the Angels’ hand and it has a buzzer of their hand so the mouth hooked up to the Good Strikes hand screams, “Ow! Make it cease! I’m sorry, I gained’t attempt to make any Good Strikes anymore with the Angels!” This strikes Trout to the outfield, pushes Moniak to the bench, a man who must be getting ABs, and simply clogs the center of their order. Thanks, I hate it. For 2025, I’ll give Jorge Soler projections of 71/27/74/.234/2 in 481 ABs.
Scott Kingery – Acquired by the Angels. Kingery ought to set off some sort of door hatch and trigger the Angels’ GM to fall from no matter room he’s in. Angels additionally grabbed Ryan Noda, who will in some way get 400+ ABs for the Angels. I don’t perceive “doing taxes” and “write-offs” or something associated to that, however I in some way know the Angels are a tax shelter for Arte Moreno.
Travis d’Arnaud – Signed with the Angels. The Angels have a kind. That kind is ‘How will we block our higher choice?’ Travis d’Arnaud projections: 36/12/39/.231/1 in 288 ABs
Kyle Hendricks – Signed with the Angels. Angels are completely a tax shelter disguised as a baseball workforce. I don’t care what you say.
Kevin Newman – Signed with the Angels. Man sporting Angels hat subsequent October, “Rattling, actually thought Kevin Newman would’ve put us excessive.”
Yusei Kikuchi – Signed with the Angels. Astros coach-up their pitchers; Angels coach-down theirs, however Yusei is also a vet who you’d suppose may ignore the Angels’ reverse satan magic. Both approach, Yusei Kikuchi will likely be an attention-grabbing case research. Can he keep good, like on the Astros, or will he revert? For a reminder, he has a 4.57 ERA in his 809 2/3 profession innings. That’s not good. He had actually one respectable full season. You trusting that to disregard the Angels? You’re braver than me. For 2025, I’ll give Yusei Kikuchi projections of 9-10/4.13/1.22/186 in 167 IP.
Jonathan India – Traded to the Royals. That is higher information for the openings it makes on the Reds. In some way, one man shifting opens CES, McLain and Noelvi. As for India, former podcast host and present author at Baseball America, Geoff texted me and was like Rays ought to commerce for India due to their newly-acquired quick porch, and I used to be like who’re they buying and selling India for? Spices? And he blocked my quantity. As a substitute of the Rays, India went to the Royals, which is Gandhi erasure. It is also “India’s acquired upside in a good park” erasure. India’s numbers look so much like Willi Castro, that’s why I’m simply gonna name them collectively Curry Catsup. 2025 Projections: 86/16/56/.251/13 in 554 ABs
Brady Singer – Traded to the Reds. You thought India going to KC damage his worth? Nicely, I ain’t Singer’ing a contented tune for Brady. As a result of they had been within the information across the identical time, I used to be stunned that Singer’s had a greater profession (for ratios) than Yusei. I wouldn’t have guessed that. Singer’s 4.28 ERA in 685 1/3 IP isn’t terrible, however Cincy and his homer-proneness isn’t nice. Not unhealthy for a deep league, the place you want IP, however Singer is a streamer in shallower. For 2025, Brady Singer projections 8-10/4.18/1.29/162 in 171 IP.
Aroldis Chapman – Signed with the Purple Sox. Lastly, they acquired their star nearer to again up their star nearer, Liam Hendriks! Or perhaps they co-star-co-close or perhaps they simply go to Star Market and look forward to it to shut. I believe it’s 24-hour market although. I’ll undertaking Aroldis in February if he seems to be headed for saves, however for now I’m holding off.
Luis Severino – Signed with the A’s. Luis Severino turns into a check case to see if the Mets have ‘We are able to repair you want Chris Martin sang he’d repair Gwyneth’ powers or if it’s simply Chris Martin singing he’d repair Gwyneth, however as an alternative inflicting her to start out Goop and promote a bunch of new-agey crap and now I’ve a candle that smells of her vajayjay. 2025 Projections: 8-11/4.24/1.28/151 in 171 IP
Danny Jansen – Signed with the Rays. Excited to see what Danny Jansen can do in center reduction. 2025 Projections: 43/15/49/.217 in 324 ABs
Brendan Rodgers – Non-tendered by the Rockies. Not completely a fantasy story, however Rockies refuse to commerce Brendan Rodgers on the deadline as a result of he’s a chunk they need to construct round. 4 months later, they non-tender him and signal Kyle Farmer. By no means change, Rockies
Kyle Farmer – Signed with the Rockies. There’s an opportunity Bud Black unintentionally reads his title as Kyle Framer, and he begins him behind the plate for 120 video games. That could possibly be large worth together with his different place eligibility! Then once more, Bud Black may not have heard of catcher framing and may use him to hold footage in his workplace. 2025 Projections: 53/9/55/.228/8 in 413 ABs
Griffin Canning – Traded to the Braves. Free eventually, free eventually, thank God almighty, somebody free Jo Adell now! Griffin Canning, your 2025 NL All-Star Sport starter! I’m considerably kidding, nevertheless it doesn’t damage to amass as many 170+ IP pitchers as you possibly can for actual baseball. Final yr, his stroll price ballooned to three.5 nevertheless it was 2.6 BB/9 the yr earlier than, and if he can get again to that, that’s good. One thing I’d belief the Braves to tug off greater than the Angels. Canning may lastly obtain the success that has eluded him on the terribly-coached Angels. For 2025, I’ll give Griffin Canning projections of September 11/4.21/1.29/143 in 167 IP.
Ronald Acuña Jr. – Alex Anthopoulos says it doesn’t seem to be Acuña and Spencer Strider will likely be prepared for Opening Day. When you’re in line to say “woof,” keep in line.
Jose Siri – Traded to the Mets. Actually, unsure how I really feel about this transfer. If solely I had an AI assistant on my cellphone to assist me formulate my opinion. Siri is 4th outfielder with or with out Soto. “Searching for 4th outfielders in your space and located myself.” Don’t be cute, Siri, it’s uncanny valley creepy. 2025 Projections: 34/14/37/.204/12 in 305 ABs.
Frankie Montas – Signed with the Mets. Irrelevant for us, however he’s making $17 million per yr, after throwing 150 2/3 IP with a 4.84 ERA. If a time traveler is studying this, return and inform Child Gray to turn out to be a MLB starter, and I will provide you with 20% of my earnings. 20% of earnings for doing nothing however time touring and whispering shizz to a child? Dude, that’s a very good deal! Ya know what’s not a very good deal? Signing Frankie Montas. Until you’re additionally getting Frankie Muniz, then I might be satisfied in any other case. Any hoo! Mets have a pleasant observe file of taking meh and making it respectable, and his peripherals learn extra like a low-4 ERA pitcher than an unusable one. 2025 Projections: 10-12/4.17/1.33/164 in 168 IP.
Clay Holmes – Signed with the Mets to start out, which may work. I’m unsure there’s any approach of telling for certain proper now. He appears like he’s missing one other pitch to achieve success, so it’s possible an uphill climb. I’d guess there’s as a lot an opportunity as they are saying he’s beginning and we get to March, they signal another person and Holmes is backing up Edwin Diaz. So, as a final spherical flyer in a 15-teamer? Certain. The rest, you’re possible being too beneficiant till we see one thing. 2025 Projections: 7-9/4.12/1.34/134 in 131 IP, assuming he begins.
Nico Hoerner – Underwent flexor tendon surgical procedure. Newest timetable is “no timetable.” Not useful.
Willson Contreras – Might be shifting to first base. Nice for 2025, after which bye-bye eligibility, which is a horrible musical.
David Fry – Will miss the beginning of the season after elbow surgical procedure. Six to eight months till he can DH, and 12 months till he can play the sphere, which places him at a late-April to June return. I’m like a groundhog for Davids.
Josh Jung – Underwent wrist surgical procedure. He’ll be high quality for Spring Coaching. Simply in time for his subsequent damage.
Jorge Polanco – Underwent surgical procedure on his patellar tendon. I went to high school with a Patellar. A stunning Bangladeshi boy.
Joe Musgrove – Underwent Tommy John surgical procedure. Which means 2025 is Joe Musgrover. I wouldn’t be shocked if he’s wanted it going again a yr or two.
Alex Kirilloff – The 26-year-old retired from baseball. That sucks. Excellent news is it opens an IL spot for Bdon.
